I clearly remember the day I got that call from my mother. As usual, her picture and name not only lit up my phone but also lifted my spirits. Conversations were always easy with her. That call too started with the usual day-to-day bickering, went on to discussing family and friends, but ended on a sombre note. She had breast cancer, something I never thought would happen to anyone in my family, least of all my mother. In my eyes she was indomitable, immortal! But, she had cancer.

Cancer is a torturous disease, so emotionally challenging, so full of struggle. Not only for the one affected but also for the people around. It was imperative that I be with my mother in her time of need. I wanted to be there for her just like she had been there for me throughout my life, but at the same time, it involved being away from my family. My mother had settled in the US a long time ago. Going to her meant leaving everyone behind here, in India as my children had exams and there was no way they could come with me. Torn between the two, I decided it had to be done. Just the way I was my mother’s strength and support, my family was mine. Reassured by them, I packed my bags and left for Detroit, where my mother lived..

And thence, the journey began ! My mother drove to receive me at the airport and stood there as if she had an army in front of her, protecting her. There she was, with an invisible armour and with her beautiful smile, telling life ‘bring it on’. Together we embarked on the road to recovery. Chemotherapy sessions were exciting for her, only to tell me to go and check out the cafeteria specials, always goading me to go eat a salad or a sandwich that was the speciality. She kept herself busy interacting with other patients, nurses and doctors and dismissed me as if I was ruining her fun day. She never failed to amaze me with her strength and positivity. We would celebrate afterwards with a trip to a fancy restaurant where she would want me to try something as she picked at her food.

Soon the grocery store owners, the restaurant owners and even the shopkeepers at the malls were infected with her vivaciousness. Knowing that she was a cancer patient, they started giving us VIP treatment. Some even prepared special dishes for her that she could consume easily after a session of chemo. It was remarkable to see the amount of support my mother’s disposition had garnered! Never had I realised that there could be positives of an illness like cancer but that’s my mother for you, just seeing the highs of the lows.
She recovered ! Soon, she was cancer free. We came back to India to celebrate and she made fun of how long it took us all to get ready. She laughed and joked that since she had no nails to paint and no hair to tame, she was always ready first while we took forever. She would slip on a dress, wear big earrings and was ready to step out. Time went by and everything seemed perfect in my perfect world until…..that dreaded call again ! This time, it had sneaked into the lungs. She had advanced lung cancer and the chances of survival were slim to none.

My world crashed, my heart broke into a million pieces and the pain seemed unending. Once again, I rushed to be by her side. This time I noticed, the vicious monster was slowly sucking the life out of her. She looked like a walking skeleton, had lost sensation in her fingertips but nothing had managed to wipe off that million watt smile of hers ! This time, she seemed to say ‘I am not going down without a fight’.

She was ever so strong, always insisting on getting dressed herself. Her two brothers who lived in Canada, also made it a point to visit her regularly on weekends. Her sister came from India to spend time with her. My brother flew from Australia to be with her. She had her entire clan at her beck and call. And boy ! did she enjoy misusing all that attention! She would forever be sending off one of us to some far off restaurant from where she wanted to eat one particular item or some store at the farthest end of the city for something. Either it was a dosa, or a particular flavour of an ice cream or guacamole or gluten free buns or some exotic fruit……the list was endless. With a twinkle in her eyes she ordered us around and we let her, just to see her smiling always.

Cancer never stopped us from going out or having a good time, in fact, enjoying ourselves became essential. She wanted all of us to have happy memories of her, so she decided to make many happy memories with us. We went on road trips, went sightseeing, attended family functions, weddings…..everything. We raced against time and packed in memories to last a lifetime.

Our bond only got stronger. We went through our lows, talked and discussed everything, every possibility, every eventuality. It was important for her, a super efficient organised woman, to have her affairs in order – in life and after death. We fought hard, not only against the illness but often with each other ! It pained me when she talked about what needed to be done, her accounts, clothes, other personal belongings etc. She even went to the extent of forbidding me to wear white when she had passed on. She gave clear instructions to open a bottle of champagne at home after cremating her. She smiled at my puzzled frowning look and said, “Don’t mourn that I am dead, celebrate that I lived wholeheartedly”. That was my mother – always practical and always efficient, with all her affairs in order. We never gave up hope but sometimes you cannot change what life has in store for you. We lost her on 8 January 2017.

I learnt from my mother to enjoy every moment, since memories last forever. Even today I remember all the happy moments, the smiles, the laughs to the cries and the struggle but all the memories are nothing but beautiful. Even though she’s not here with us today, I would like to say , “Thank you for everything, thank you for teaching me how to live life. Thank you for all the smiles. I know you’ve found peace but you’ve always had it. I know you’re looking down, smiling with a drink in your hand and to you I say looking up – I love you mommy, cheers !” .